I'm currently sitting in my house, looking and feeling three shades of ridiculous; I'm feeling ridiculous because it's almost 9:30pm and I'm trapped inside an all too familiar place, my room, and I'm looking ridiculous because I'm sitting here, in the dark, wearing a leather Orisue jacket (fresh), a 5 panel Akomplice hat, and Society sweatshirt. (Looks at bedroom door) Let's be honest, I'm not going anywhere and if I do it'll be downstairs to grab my furry slippers; I hope no one out there is judging me for trying to keep it fashionable, in my moment of solitude.
This week has been somewhat of a blur but here I sit, lost as to what I've truly accomplished, what I've learned, who I've influenced or been influenced by, and of course I'm wondering where I'm going. (soft sigh/chuckle).
I often wonder what depression looks like, I mean can it smile and appear happy but then be sad and lonely, I mean am I depressed about something? At some point, tonight, I'm going to look into the mirror and figure out who's staring back at me (pinches arm). I'm alive, I'm alive... don't worry about me, I just needed to see if that would hurt!
My workday seemed to be a little longer today, I took lunch a little later, and my mind stayed a little busier than normal too; it's days like this which make me wonder if I'll ever be married and have a loving wife who'd help shoot some energy into my tired body and mind.
Currently, I feel like I'm missing something, I feel like progression is taking place all around me but I'm that fish who's swimming in place (haha). There's something calming about a fish swimming in place, well something boring too if you truly think about it.
Okay, okay, okay, maybe I should take this ridiculous jacket off and also remove my cap; I'm not going anywhere (Looks at bedroom door).
I am missing something, will you help me find it? Currently, I'm in my room wanting to escape but the problem is I have nowhere to go, then again perhaps I have everywhere to go.
And so it begins...