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  • Nemi

Message To Self

I have no clue if people actually leave messages to themselves in the hopes that years later they'll return and see their progression or regression. The message from my 30yr old self to my 35yr old self would have been simple, "Keep moving and do not give up on yourself, embrace the change which is going to take place."

In the spring of 2005 life had swallowed me up and I was on the cusp of giving up on myself, I was on the cusp of being irrational and believing the lie which so many believe, the lie of "I don't matter, no one would notice me if I'm gone." I sat in my room, wrote a note, and had a plan but for some reason that plan fell through; I was 28yrs of age at that time.

My 33yr old self experienced Europe for the first time, I shed a tear when I saw the Eye of London in fact, a feeling came over me that I still cannot explain, a feeling of accomplishment. You see, I never thought I could, so I didn't (travel that is). At that time, my life was about sports, Jordan's, watches, and fashion. At this time, the fight on my hands was the fight to find myself, the fight to understand the changes which were taking shape in my life. In 2005 I had been fired from a job which I thought I would have forever. The reasoning for my firing was due to honesty, I stood my ground and didn't back down from a boss who held all the cards, a boss who was arrogant, racist, and eventually fired months after he sacked me. Thank you Eric Tobias, you started me on this course which has been beautifully confusing!

The message my 36yr old to 40yr self would leave would be, "Live your life and live it how you see fit but do so with others in mind." In the last ten years I've visited close to 18 foreign countries taking and leaving bits of myself along the way, also in the last ten years I've learned that a camera holds a certain value and images tell a certain story. I've lived life, learned from my adventures, and paid attention to the people along my travels through this thing called life (well life during the ages of 36 - 40).

Yesterday I turned 41yrs of age and I'm sitting here attempting to figure out what note should be left and for how long of a duration I should set the time. Truth of the matter is nothing in life is promised so my goal is to leave a message for my 41yr old and 1 day self... "Be the best you that you can be today..."

Sometimes we overthink life and I'm no longer going to play this game instead I'm going to embrace the day and time provided, never moving ahead nor falling behind. I turned 41yrs of age, yesterday, and it's funny to think that this one message is the one which stands out so clearly on my mirror.

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