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  • Nemi

So Often...

So often, I find myself wondering about the person I am versus the person I could be, in this thing called life. For so many years I've attempted to be this perfect example of someone who has all of their ducks in a row, I've looked the part, played the part so well.

There was a time in my life when I thought I had things all figured out, I knew what I wanted to do as far as schooling was concerned, career, and location. Isn't it funny how things change on us? I went from being an ant to truly being the grasshopper and for close to twenty years now, I've continued to "hop" per se.

Yesterday, one of my closest friends and his wife brought into the world their first child, a healthy baby boy. The amount of joy that I felt speaking with my buddy and hearing the excitement on his voice made me think that I've missed my opportunity to have others share within my joy of something, whatever that something is, is still yet to be determined. I mean there are very few people who ask me about what's inside of my head.

So often, I've found myself walking or skating about this town of ours attempting to find something "new" or at least something "new" from a different angle. I've stopped and looked up, down, left, right, sideways, and upside down all in attempts to be different. Remember how I mentioned that I've wondered about the person I am versus the person I could be, in this thing called life?

I suppose the true reality of it all, is the simple fact that I'm actually enjoying the journey; I'm not sure the ants get a chance to look up and take it all in so to speak, they're too busy working. In my line of work there are some who are fixated on the money and prestige and then there's me who's fixated on not being the typical corporate ant.

After a very long day, yesterday, I found myself chasing the moon as I so often do, I followed it from one side of a neighborhood all the way to another side of a neighborhood until it seemingly stood still for me. As I sat on the curb, camera in hand, I thought to myself, "So often I'm out in the darkness attempting to capture a bit of light..."

In the end, the person I am is fine, the person I could be would more than likely be missing all of the "hopping" that I've been allowed to do over time. Always search for the light.

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