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  • Nemi

I Don't Know...

I really have no clue if I'll be able to articulate what I'm feeling at this very moment in time. For the last few hours, my thoughts have been seemingly everywhere but here. I don't know, maybe it's just me, or perhaps this feeling is a culmination of things which I'm powerless against.

IF you're like me, you never want to see people whom you care for suffer. My mind often drifts and I find myself thinking about my parents, I think about how one day their light(s) will fade from this earth and eventually fill the sky above us; I believe all angels become stars which twinkle and capture our eyes.

We've all been told that time waits for no man or woman yet when the time approaches for one to leave this place we call Earth, we in most cases either pray for just a little more time or we rethink all of the time we've wasted by not being closer with said person. During my ever so brief time on this planet, I can tell you about the time I've wasted and the time I've asked for just so I could say, "Goodbye" one last time.

As I sit here tonight, a family whom I've known for years is set to say goodbye to their middle child, siblings are set to question themselves about time and things which were said, as well as things which weren't said, a set of parents is set to have to be the strongest they've been in all of their life, when that final breath is taken. Why don't we ever cry for the living, why don't we attempt to make amends while we're provided that little bit of time?

I sit and think about my siblings, I think about how we've truly grown apart and aren't invested in each other's lives, I think about the idle times when I've held my phone and not sent a text or dialed a number just to say hello. I do not know if any of us will cry for each other when our times finally come, to be honest probably not since we've become more like acquaintances rather than family.

Eventually the sun will set on us all, it's just a question of what time will the light finally disappear. Tonight, I'm thinking about a family, a family whom I've known for years, a family who helped to shape my life, during my younger days.

I've asked this before, "IF time were so kind, it would allow us to go back and unwind all of the hurt and pain it has caused, IF it would allow us one wish and three words, I'd hold you forever and save my speech..."

A week ago tonight, I took this picture as my buddy Ryan and me were chasing the sunset, as we were attempting to beat time; it's crazy to think that this picture depicts both beauty and pain.

Sweet, sweet, Kortney, your time here was well spent, your energy was well received, I pray safe passage to you as you embark upon a new journey which will be free from pain; soon another angel will leave this Earth and take her place within the heavens.

I don't know if these words are adequate for how I feel... Tell some of my people, "Hello..." (I hope I'll get a chance to great them too one day)

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