IF you've been following my blog for any length of time, you'll quickly find that I have a love for music. Over the course of the last few months I've found myself drawn to the lyrics of an artist who recently/tragically passed away only a couple of months ago. His creativity was witty and his cadence is one which I would more than likely emulate if I were brave enough to sing and rap.
How do we miss the signs of others who are crying out for help (ourselves included)? Life is a tricky thing isn't it, we're meant to succeed and never fail, if we come from a good home; it's only the bad who are destined to sink into the abyss.
By the grace of God, I've managed not to get caught up in too many wrong things; there was a time, I definitely walked a thin line and I'll attribute a lot of my survival to my mother's prayers and probably the prayers of others as well. I'm sitting here chuckling a bit because if my parents knew some of the struggles I've faced, they'd more than likely say, "Why didn't you tell us?" That's just it right, the WHY.
For too long, I've wanted to run away, like I'm out, see a majority of you never type of run away. I know, I know, I'm far too grown to pack a blanket and a stick and walk into the sunset but I'm not far too grown to say, my spirit is inching closer and closer to running towards a cliff and jumping off to see if I can float.
I'm not suicidal but emotionally I've been fighting a battle to remain happy within this matrix and I'm beginning to feel the walls closing in around me. No man or woman is an island yet I feel as though I'm on an island which some may understand. There are many facets of depression for which many are swallowed up by their own emotions.
Perhaps I'm just rambling
Recently, my buddy and myself took a quick trip to the hills in order to try and capture something new (as seen in the drone shot above). As we drove past familiar points, I found myself feeling a bit overwhelmed as new sights popped up before us. "I've never been here before", I said... but then again perhaps I have and haven't uttered those words out loud before, then again perhaps there was another meaning behind what I'm saying, I guess it just depends on who is listening/reading.
No man or woman is an island but who will rescue me if I can't make it back to shore, I'm going to say no one if they didn't know I was in the deep end of the lake quietly sinking...