I'm unsure how many things I've done for the first time, in the last few months. The funny thing is most people whom I've received calls or texts from, usually say within our conversation(s), "Man, how are YOU holding up, I mean not being able to travel and all".
The truth is I've managed to see a lot of things, perhaps too many things over the course of time! The ultimate truth is I've never stopped traveling, even through this pandemic, I just publicize my going or coming as of late so most are left in the dark as to how I'm spending my time.
At the current moment, our world is faced with so much noise from all sides of the globe and I feel for earth. Mankind has managed to create a mess so large that I sit and wonder what the end days will look like, if in fact there are days which will provide a reset for humanity. We think of greed but only in the corporate or political sense and we miss out on the fact greed abounds on every level and isn't always affixed to monetary transactions.
Lately, I've been finding myself craving time, more time to think, breathe, sit still, laugh, and be loved, the love coming from how I view myself. This pandemic has helped me take note of those who will always be there for me and those who are simply there in "spirit". My friendships have been easily established, then again these friendships which I speak of are more acquaintances than friendships forged through the challenges/fire of life. There are seasons of refinement which I find myself being baptized within, seasons of growth which turn a full head of hair into a balding patch of hair or patches of white hairs.
Today, I sat back and wondered about today, I wasn't focused on tomorrow at all; it was a weird feeling to not really care or place importance into anything other than those who were around me. I played golf today and I played it well, well, after the first seventeen holes that is (there are 18 holes for those who don't follow the sport).
My brother Tony was overly patient with me, today, and to be fair, I was patient with myself too given the fact I hadn't swung a club in almost a year. My game wasn't horribly bad, I had a few chances at pars and birdies during the day and that kept me dialed into what was at hand.
Not too long ago, I visited a spot and stood there quietly as the waves crashed about the shore and the wood beams which stretched forward into the ocean. I told a friend, earlier this year that I'd like to walk a beach with my shoes off and feel the water and sand in between my feet. It's the little things which make me happy.
As I stood here, peering out in space, I drifted a bit and found myself writing this very story and dozens if not hundreds of stories after it. Life is a journey, there are no perfect people, endings, or places, we're all attempting to survive, understand situations, and be understood along the ride.
I'm happy to find little nuggets of life buried underneath a place with shifting sand. I'm doubly filled with joy when I hear the voices of friends who've found peace within their environments. A close friends who has had the hardest time with finding a suitable partner, told me this evening that he was walking into his girlfriend's house with takeout food and libations; I sat on the other end of the phone smiling because I could hear the happiness within his spirit.
There is a song that has pulled at me like no other in the last week or so, I'll give you a quick hook:
"Don't stay awake stay awake for too long, don't go to bed, I'll make a cup of coffee for your head, I'll get you up and going out of bed..."
Life is special, do not lose sight of that; I'm speaking to myself as much as I am to you. In the end don't forget to pier out and breathe.