A Few More Hours...
I'm a little closer to home than I was yesterday, a bit closer to my end than I was when I work up, this morning. This post isn't me being Xtra as much as it is me being real. The last forty four years of my life have moved by me in a flash, no this isn't a midlife crisis post, I haven't purchased that $95K Tesla, yet, however I am eyeballing something a bit more practical, death.
When I sit down to write, the words simply come to me, there's no preplanned script/story that I regurgitate for the sake of wasting my time or yours. Tonight, I'm really thinking/wondering about what legacy I'm set to leave behind, shortly.
As this year comes to an end, so does the realization that I've been diligently plugging away at sharing bits and pieces of my life, with you for over five years now. I remember when I crossed 100 posts and I thought how on earth did I do it and let alone with pictures and a few videos sprinkled in along the way. Now, I'm six posts away, after this one, from crossing the 400 post mark and I'm looking around and scratching my head a bit more because I'm not certain how any of this is possible.
Soon the winter will be upon us here in California and we'll be faced with stricter orders to stay at home and adhere to the ordinances set in place by elected officials who don't follow their own rules. Our society is screwed, I wanted to use a stronger word but you know, kids might read this, my parents might get wind of the stronger word, or better yet, someone might reference this during a job interview and question my usage of the word I'm not using.
Each day we're allowed to wake up, places closer to eternal sleep and for me that no longer scares me. I feel as though I've been blessed over and above with the all that I've been allowed to witness/take part in. Far too often, I've scoffed at the fact I'm not "something" when in fact I'm almost everything I was created to be; I've been an ear, a confidant, a friend, a son, and dad (I can't forget my sons Ben and Jeff).
The roads which we're all currently on are different and there's so much beauty within this fact. I cannot tell you when any of us will reach home but I can say that when we do, it'll be not in our timing but that of the another, however it is you choose to believe.
One of my buddies said yesterday, "Death is undefeated" and that struck home because he was spot on with that sentiment, death always win in the end, no one has outran it or its henchmen. Well, some of us have escaped it once or twice but no doubt it'll reappear and claim the win.
The beauty which exists for me is simply the fact, I'm here. I pray that my presence hasn't made some smile and laugh, take note and be encouraged.
Coming into 2020, I found myself questioning the phrase or words, "I love you" as I felt as though I've never truly known the weight of the words. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love my parents, I love my job, I love photography, shoot, I even love my sons but... during this year I've learned to love me and that had been my biggest obstacle for far too long. This year has taught me so much patience and allowed me to find the courage needed to maneuver through some interesting situations.
Time is forever fleeting and I pray that you all take note, express what's on your hearts and minds, kiss often, laugh daily, smile for exercise, and love yourselves first and foremost.
In A FEW MORE HOURS, I'll be home.