Attention To Detail...
It's more than likely my fault that I'm wired this way, paying attention to detail and such. Since my younger days, I've always had the ability to pick out bits and pieces of things which others would otherwise overlook and as an adult this has only become magnified. Instead of my eyes being focused on what the others were here for, I found serenity in the picture being painted in front of me.
Life is being laid out in front of us all and it's being laid out at a pace I'm taking note of daily. The measuring sticks for this movement of time are the kids which are no longer kids; it's with each picture, I see the shift. The masses are caught in whirlwind of strife and anger because they've been conditioned to believe that the sky is falling around them and as I look up, I see that the sky is still in place.
Tonight a friend of mine text me a few messages which were meant to be uplifting, now I'm sitting here reflecting on them:
"You're not broken, you're human"
"I wish you could have your person"
"I want you to feel peace"
"I'm proud to know you in this life"
IF it weren't for the decade or so plus of friendship, I would look at these words and think that they're nothing more than just words, almost as easily thrown out as the words, "I appreciate you". It's easy to say things in order to make ourselves feel good and that's proven on a daily basis; the hardest thing to do, it seems is to pay attention to someone else's details. There's a hidden art in observing someone or even your surroundings and taking note as to what we're seeing, even before they notice we're paying attention
One of my favorite places in California is a place by the name of Big Sur. The attractions never change but scenery does and there's a draw to said attractions which keeps me going back. Instead of looking at the light per se, I'm attempting to observe all who dance within it and stand about waiting for others to see them.
I'm not broken, though for some time I've thought there was something I was missing. The idea of finding validation in the words or action of another is real and for many it's how they grade themselves. For some strange reason I'm sitting on the other side of the fence now, the single side, and I'm finding validation in not having much to worry about these days; as I say that though, there's still so much detail I pay attention to.
This time next year, if I'm blessed with more time, I hope to have felt more peace and happiness within my life, as I'm forever looking for firm ground to stand. Life is tricky in far too many ways and it's far too easy to lose sight of what we value due the fact other live events might hinder our sight.
I observed a woman who had a shiny ring, actually a beautiful ring, which caught my attention as it captured the light from the room; I wondered how happy she was, how heavy the ring felt on her finger. It's interesting because she was but a shadow much like the girl to the left in the picture below, I could see her soul at the water's edge yet no one around to witness her baptism but there was this light which shown from her hand. As awkward as it may read, I wanted to ask her who loved her so, that she was gifted such a diamond which glowed upon her finger, I wanted to ask how much love was shown to receive such a gift. I'm sure she would have smirked and told me or simply said, "You pay ATTENTION TO DETAIL, kid..."
It's with said detail, I find myself standing quietly, waiting for the sun to set and the moon to rise, it's with said detail, I sit patiently as the tide comes in and moves out to the sea; perhaps one day, I'll place my feet within the water all the while observing the smile of someone who stands next to me, holding my hand, dreams, and heart.
The answer is always within the details...