Days Of Peace...
This past week was probably one of the more stressful weeks I've had in a very long time, perhaps it was the pressure I placed upon myself or the pressure that was thrust onto me by people who wield higher titles, either way, my stress levels were real.
I've often dreamed of getting in my car and simply driving to an unknown destination just to be away from all of the noise, the anxiety, the pressure which comes my way from time to time. This weekend, I unplugged and attempted to find my center, my energy, and the warmth of the sun.
The final work conversation which I had around 7p on Friday, led me walk downstairs, grab my favorite glass, and then pour myself a whiskey; this of course led me to question what the hell just happened this week. I know I can't win every single day but I feel as though my days conquered me more than conquered them, this week. One of my close friends tells me that I'll never be perfect so don't try to be but then I find myself whiskey in hand wondering where I went wrong, in the midst of trying to be perfect.
Actually, Friday wasn't overly bad, I made peace with my brother whom I hadn't spoken with since October and that felt like a mature move in the right direction but then I wondered if I should pick up the phone and call other people in order to do the same (I didn't though, there's no need to go full nice guy). If I'm being honest, I chalk up the call to my brother as being due to guilt than stress. I didn't want to die this weekend and have him thinking I didn't love him.
I haven't watched a single minute of footy this weekend which is wild, instead I launched a photography idea with my buddy, Fresh, I helped to create the outline for a marketing company which another friend and me are going to take a swing at, and I jumped into a writing project with my best friend; one which we started working on over five years ago, wait, I also entered a poetry contest on Friday evening.
Okay, okay, the week wasn't the best but I managed to find peace this weekend and I've done so by remaining in a creative space. My mood is shifting a bit and I'm finding myself becoming more of a recluse than a butterfly which is great, I'm not the biggest fan of people these days but then there are friends who check in on me and say things like, "Hey, bruh, me and the kid are going to go to miniature golf and we'd like you to come along with us...."
In the midst of my busyness, today, I decided to leave my nest in order to feel the breeze a bit. There aren't too many wants which I have at the moment, well, there are but I can't tell you what they are because, gah.... I'll give you one.
I hope for more DAYS OF PEACE and laughter, learning/growing, patience, and love. Today, I spent time with my buddy and his son, I've known this dude for almost 25yrs now and obviously the kid before he was a born. The truth is life is never going to be perfect, neither am I, however, it's within the moments of uneasiness and stress, I can be still and become refined.
Little dude came for the Champ but got served an "L", his dad tried too but watched me do my victory pose when all was said and done. Life isn't bad, I just tend to overthink things from time to time. Thank you Lord for being merciful.