I'm unsure if others look off in the distance as much as I do; it's a tiresome habit I've picked up over the years but one that I find refreshing, at times. This morning around 2:30a, I read a quote that said, "Don't worry about finding the right person, focus on becoming the right person". If you want to talk about something hitting you between the eyes and pulling a heartstring or two, it's this statement.
I have a bit of anxiety, to say the least, and I'm forever in my head wondering about what's off in the distance. Coming into this year, I thought I had controlled or at least started to understand how my heart and mind were configured but here I am, staring at the clouds and wondering about life. Also, here I am worrying about how my life is filled with so much silence.
There are few real friendships that I have, not that one needs a plethora of friends in order to survive. For me however, it's the challenge of being filled with meaningful conversations, perspectives, and love. To those of you who earnestly care, thank you. I hope I provide you with the care you need as well.
The worst critique I have, of myself, is that I critique myself far too much. No one is perfect, I know, but dammit, I need to stop trying to be perfect and just learn to be. I've often said that the most lies are told during New Year's Eve, now I'm second guessing myself and thinking maybe just maybe those aren't lies at all; they're simply wishes people tell themselves in the hope of finding their center.
At this present moment in time, my thoughts are slightly scrambled probably due to a lack of sleep. It's interesting to step back and observe how our minds influence other parts of us. In the interim, the DISTANT CLOUDS are bringing beauty and not rain.
I hope to do the same, within my life and the lives of others who lost looking off in the distance too.