Ghosts That We Knew...
Over the course of the last few months, I've had the pleasure of coercing a few friends into standing on the other side of my camera, as I've attempted to be creative; truth be told, I've wasted some folks time unbeknownst to them. IF you're reading this and you're one of those friends who've yet to see your photos, you see way the labs are setup during this pandemic is wild (blank stare being given). I used your money to by shoelaces, sorry.
In all seriousness, while many are pulling their hair out, I'm sitting peacefully, learning a few tricks which have helped to keep me sane. The idea that space and boundaries are needed in one's life is vital, as I've operated without both for some time. For me everyone else's energy has trumped mine and I've more often than not stayed quiet about the person I am, the ghost within most circles. There has always been something special about being able to slink in and out of a room without creating too much of a buzz; also I really do not like to say goodbye to folks too.
Years ago, I told my father that I wanted to be a marketing major and my father told me that I should be a lawyer, which was actually more his dream for me, however, now I look back and see that he probably didn't know my creative side because I never did enough to show him it existed. I was a kid who played sports, video games, and excelled in the basic education which was provided to me. The fact that I was a nerd in courses which were made up, at a private school which was subpar, probably had my father thinking that he'd given birth to a rocket scientist but the truth was I'd learned to merely blend into the scenery. I'll write about those years at a later date.
When this life is said and done, I pray that some will remember me and I also pray that they'll smile. It's strange to think that I've really made it to this point in life, this point of reflection. There was a time I didn't think I'd survive, there was a time when my outfits spoke for me so I wouldn't have to speak for myself, and my outlet was jokes and being loud; then one day it all stopped and I found myself wondering who was really laughing with me as opposed to laughing at me. I was way ahead of my time and the Dave Chappelle journey.
The moment you learn to take a step a back and observe if you'll be missed is the very moment you start to understand if you have superpowers or not. I cannot sit here and freely give my secrets away, bug bites, radioactive slime, a mom that's out of this world, a dad who went to school with Thanos and the list could continue but I'm not going to talk about it, the cave under the house, or let me stop, I've said too much.
We live in a world which is made up of so many moving parts, a world which is made up of likes and thumbs, comments, and ratings. I mean if you're not verified or an influencer, does your life even matter? There are so many people are wanting lives which aren't real, lives which are made up social traps, meant to ensnare the masses. My advice has always been simple, if your last name isn't Jones, then you needn't try to keep up with em.
When was the last time you decided to disappear in order to find yourself? I've written a lot in 2020 and hopefully I'll start and complete my greatest work before the end of this year. I intended to take vacation here in a bit, in order to drink tea and feel the cool breeze of wherever it is I find as a resting place.
While so many are fading into the darkness, me and my crew are attempting to fade into the light.
"But the ghosts that we knew will flicker from you
And we'll live a long life
So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light
'Cause oh that gave me such a fright
But I will hold as long as you like
Just promise me we'll be alright"
- Mumford & Sons