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  • Writer's pictureNemi

Hold On...

Fist off, I have zero idea why my butt looks so good in these jeans and by good I mean large (don't hate, you see those cakes too). Secondly, lotion saves lives and pictures, my mom would be proud that I care enough to touch up my elbows, my dad will wonder how lotion is helping me stick to the train-tracks. Okay, now that I got that nonsense out of the way, I can focus on this piece. Did you see how slim-thicc I look though (haha)?

IF only these times came with some sort of manual, some sort of instruction on how to stay the course. We're living in perilous times, where the emotions of humans are at an all time high; I say all time high but I imagine those folks who didn't listen to Noah before the flood were like, "Maaaaaan, isn't this junk, this MF'er was right", just as droplets began to fall from the sky. To be fair, I would have befriended Noah if he was cool with Africans and all but I'm unsure if I would have been on the family side of the Ark or the animal side.

There are far too many things taking place in the world and it has been difficult for me to slow down and take note of them all, as I'm not overly concerned with "news". My want, over the last five to six years, has been to separate myself as far from the noise as possible. Some years back, I found myself stressed out by the onslaught of information and opinions on Facebook so I simply removed myself from what was bring me stress.

It's strange right, we as adults take so much time to care about the opinions of others who we'll never meet or for that matter, have any true relationships with. This person thinks this way, this person said that, this person believes this, this person doesn't believe that, or this person didn't say that, stand up for this, think about this, was vindictive, sexist, racist, or or or.... Yeeeeeeeah, I don't care, my eyes are on a different prize at the moment and all this he said, she said, they, them, theirs said isn't for me.

I'm attempting to hold on to the little bit of sanity which I have left. Actually, I have plenty of sanity left and patience too. This week a guy looked at me and said that I always appear to be relaxed chill and I laughed inside but told him it's not that I'm always chill, it's just that I understand that I'll die soon so why rush the process by being all wound up.

This picture is the true characterization of how I've approached 2020. I came into the year, knowing that there would be battles and new levels I would need to reach, with obstacles all along the journey. I suppose this mindset has kept me grounded and thankful for each day lived for tomorrow is not promised. The pressures of the world haven't become my own, the chaos of another isn't my chaos or cross to bear, however I am in control of my next move; the only place for me is up, I just need to continue to hold fast to this mindset and soon enough, soon enough, I'll stand and dust myself off a bit.

Those cakes tho...

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