Search
  • Nemi

How Many Times...


How many times have you fallen in love, perhaps, I should ask, how many times have you fallen in love with the same person or thing? Recently, I found myself feeling vulnerable at the thought of losing the valuable parts of my life. Time is moving and though I have no idea what life holds, it feels as though my grips will be loosened sooner or later.


The idea of happiness and the successes of life have become murky over the last two years or so. There's pain that I still hasn't scabbed over and left a proper scar, wounds which are still bandage worthy. Quietly, I've found myself questioning why this life stuff is so important. I've managed to create a superpower that allows me to be has hidden as I would like. My mindset is not to chase anything or anyone, it's fleeting and the time it will take to chase, only takes me away from the direction I'm heading, currently.


Within a room of faces, within the darkness, I sit and observe all that takes place around me. My blessing and curse is my active mind. I've been blessed with the ability to create at a moment's notice, however, I doubt this ability and find myself wondering if I belong.


I want to give up but what does that look, what would that look like. The effect is sad to think of but the reality is, my time is coming to an end at some point. How many times days do we have left to sit in silence and observe all that's taking place around us, how many days do we have left to reminisce about the what if's?


Broken hearts and broken minds are a real thing, some people carry both, some carry one; some carry the people who cannot carry themselves.


HOW MANY TIMES have you fallen in love with the idea of being happy? I hope it's daily. The hardest thing for me, at the moment, is staying within the moment/within the light. I'm tired of the noise, I'm tired of the silence too.