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  • Nemi

It Makes Sense...


I tend to keep things as vague as possible because it's just the way I've operated for far too long. There are a few people who attempt to find out as much as they can about me within a short amount of time and they're typically led in a direction that is safeguarded for a reason. Now, on the flip side of things, I'm all things to all people, an open ear, line of communication, a safe vault of information. I know, I know... There are some who think I'm a spy of some type and it's heartwarming to think that they think I'm smarter than a fifth grader.


IF you pay close enough attention to things and the action of others, you'll soon find whatever it is you're looking for. In all fairness, just because you feel something in your gut doesn't always make it true BUT if you do your homework and are willing to hurt your own feelings, the truth typically lies within carefully wrapped words and kisses, Hershey or human is for you to decide.


We all want to be appreciated and loved, it starts at an early stage and then one day that trust is broken and we're left feeling inadequate or unworthy, due to the actions of someone else. I wish I could say I've only been hurt but in retrospect, I've hurt others along the way. The topic of love is still something I wish not to speak of because I still don't completely understand it; I've said this for over a decade now.


Recently, I found myself being a sleuth, for nothing other than the fact that I couldn't sleep and it was the perfect sleuthing hour at 3a. In my past detective life, it was always the small clues which brought certain situations to life. You know the clues which don't quite add up and then suddenly out of nowhere, the Holy Grail is discovered but with less fanfare of finding the actual Holy Grail.


2020 was such a tough year for me but it also brought a sense of new beginning on other fronts, which might be outlined at some point in the future, probably farther than nearer future. The art of being vague is burdensome, almost as burdensome as being having feelings. Thank goodness, I only have one "burden".


One day you wake up and IT MAKES SENSE, other days you're overly comfy thinking you're at the top of the mountain enjoying the view. Ah the awkward years are upon me.