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  • Nemi

Just Like That...

Just as quickly as it started, it's almost over; the days of summer are set to bid farewell, ushering in a fall season and eventual winter. During my younger days, we would actually have foggy day schedules and our parents wouldn't allow us to be out and about at night, due to how heavy the fog would settle within town. The stories we'd tell were epic, of how we'd make it back home; those were the days when we were allowed to sit in the back of trucks, feeling the cold night's wind against our faces. It's wild to fast forward thirty years or so and think about just how unsafe we were yet made it somehow to this point in life, a point of reflection.


IF I could sum up the year, up this point, I wouldn't use words as much as I would images, such as the one in the picture below this post. Looking ahead, on the pointing in the opposite direction, and wondering what the hell is taking place would be the name of the picture. The fires which filled our skies this summer, also helped to produce some of the strangest sunset colors; though the picture was taken pre fires, pre smoke, pre fear of survival for those friends effected by the blazes.


I think I've always been a loyal friend to those whom I deem true friends, at times that has bid me well and other times it has left me scratching my head as to why I wasted energy and emotions. As an adult, friendships have taken on an interesting twist in that there are so many jaded individuals who are out primarily for themselves and themselves alone. Life is but a culmination of seasons, continuous seasons at that, seasons which bring both light and darkness, coldness and warmth.


In my darkest hours of this year, I've shed tears in the presence of friends. I can't help but think of my brother Mando just sitting and listening to me share how broken I was and allowing me to weep openly and honestly, the same can be said of the sisters within the picture below too. After spending a few hours out and about photographing landscapes, each other, and throwing comedic jabs at each other, we found ourselves breaking bread at a local brewery. For me, much of my pain is ever shared with others, I use phrases such as, "I'll get over it, "I'll be okay", and "I'm fine", when in fact I'm the furthest thing from fine. As we sat talking about life and some events of the past few weeks, I found myself beginning to become emotional... (to be honest, I'm a bit emotional now, as I sit here in the darkness). You know IF you have a true friend, IF they stick around during and after you've shed tears, I think I'm an ugly crier so crying alone has always been the winning ticket. This night I couldn't fight back my tears enough, I couldn't be manly enough, as to not show my emotions; within the blink of an eye, I was comforted and held not only with an embrace but with words.


It's so easy to say something in order to attempt to assist, we all do it daily if not weekly. As mentioned above, I've routinely done it to myself. There are memories which are mixed with a few more great memories and experiences of 2020, up to this point; I have a weekly family night with a friend, his girlfriend, and their seven year old (one of the coolest kids on this planet), my brother Tony and his family have continued to hold me close, and my ability to share hasn't diminished even during my time of pain.


I entered this year holding onto a bit of uncertainty, the season was winter when my journey began, I had some cold conversations, with even colder people, but then spring found its way, summer blazed its course, and here I sit fall(ing) back on all which has taken place.


There were probably a few bets placed on me not making it, not progressing, chasing and not growing, forcing and not being patient but just as quickly as this all began, here I sit grateful for each day.


JUST LIKE THAT, I'll transition again soon and hopefully you'll stick around to watch my progression, sunsets or sunrises, I pray they're magical.