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  • Nemi

Most Nights...

Earlier today, I had an acquaintance ask me if I'm still writing; he went on to explain that he'd purchased my first book, Sun Spot Stains (shameless plug). It was in that brief moment, I recalled how this journey started many years prior.


The person who shoved me out of my comfort zone was coworker at the time. A few of us would venture to a local poetry night and I merely tag along and sit quietly at a table, listening to artist share their craft. There were far too many nights, I would sit and think about what it would be like for me to take the mic and deliver a line or two.


As fate would have it, it was my friends who wrote my name on the list without me knowing and then it happened. "Next to take the stage at the stage at The Inner Ear..." said the host and like magic, my name was called, my moment to shine had arrived.


Anyone who truly knows me, knows that I'm pretty reserved and I attempt to never allow the moment to take over me. In a past life, I was a part of a theatre group that would perform a few times a year; we would have dozens of lines and during these performances. I would often be the one who wouldn't take things seriously until the week of the show, the rehearsal night before the big day, shoot, the five minutes before the curtain would raise and the house lights/music would begin for said show.


Now, there was a buddy of mine who was also part of group, who always became so nervous. When I say, this guy would get nervous, I mean he'd get pale and sometimes walk out the back door to release his nerves in the field in the back of the building. In my mind, I always wondered why I looked at things in such a carefree nature whilst others were so wound up about their lines. Actually, I think this has always been my case, the coming of ease of certain things.


I need to regain a footing which has been lost as of late; needless to say, there are no excuses being provided. There are some who push me and you know who you are, I wouldn't be how I am without your love for me.


MOST NIGHTS, I feel like a ghost within room who's still waiting for his name to be called. Again, there are few who remind me of my light (thank you)