It's in these days that I find myself taking note of everything around me. The world is continuing on its axis and I'm spinning right along with the rest of humanity. I've began to question if I'm doing myself any favors by staying home and laying low, as opposed to being out in the streets aimlessly trying to fill a void.
My Friday night is being spent in a dark room with only the glow of my computer screen keeping me company. The last conversation I had was over two hours ago and there isn't going to be a break in this action for some time. IF I'm being honest, the sound of my voice is even something that is muted these nights. The truth is, I'm neither searching or lost, I'm exactly where I'm meant to be it seems. In the end, patience is the hardest part of day(s).
There's a sense of patience which I have to have with myself and others as well. What the hell am I waiting for, why not just jump and trust the process? The uncertainty that fills my body is what keeps me grounded and the safety of this space is what keeps me home, for now.
These next few days will define the next steps within my journey, as there are new possibilities, and adventures to explored. The change which I want to take place within my life is upon me and I pray that I plant said change and water it daily until it bears fruit within my life. I've forever felt blessed but tis this season, I find myself closer to another step which I would never have dreamed of in the not so distant past.
There are people who are being recognized all over the globe for their work behind the lens. I hope to be one of those persons before the last speck of sand hits the bottom of my life glass/hourglass. These days are fleeting at a rate that is maddening and I'm attempting to MOVE SLOWLY in order to savor a moment or two.
Yesterday, a friend asked me if I was sad, she was telling her husband that she felt an energy or could hear an echo of pain which still lingers about my heart. I'm trying to be read more than seen, these days. I've switched to shooting in black and white because the colors seem to bright at the moment. I'm not gloomy, I'm grateful, I'm not in love, I'm attempting to be love myself, I'm not eager for tomorrow, because today is still upon me.