I find myself sitting in different places, within my house, all the while attempting to find where "peace" resides, as it's nearly impossible for me to create while my head and spirit are at war. Some of the greatest works of art have been created during times of heartache and stress, some of my greatest regrets have come during the same moments.
This morning, a buddy of mine asked me why I don't geotag correctly; he was really saying, that I lie about where I am at any present moment in time. "We can be driving back from San Francisco and you'll post a picture of you in Paris", is what he said. The truth is over the last ten years, I've visited so many places it would be absurd for me to constantly inundate people's lives with all of my randomness and it would also be a turnoff on far too many levels. The beauty of any picture I take is when it's time to be posted, no one needs a backstory as to the how, when, and why. So no, no buddy it's not a lie because I was actually there and if people were truly connected they'd simply call me to find out if the phone makes that funny European ring or not. "OH, you must be out of the country, the ring sounded differently than...", what sue me, I pay attention to sounds (such a tough crowd).
As fate would have it, I'm standing on the side of a road in Banff, Alberta Canada, and I'm wondering if I continue in this direction will I eventually get into Heaven; I mean c'mon, look at how picturesque this stretch of road is, there must be some angels around the corner!
In all seriousness, within me there brews a quiet storm, a storm filled with more sunshine than rain and it's within these moments of solitude, I can reflect and feel the thunder as it moves through my thoughts but rarely my actions.
Within my family, I'm the "black sheep" of the group, the outlier, the other sibling, and the one with the short fuse; my father has tried to tell me about the importance of family and legacy but I've found that family will always remain family in name. I have a host of family members whom I've never formed a bond with but in the end they're still family per se (sorry if you're one of those who happens to be reading this by chance, it's not you it's me).
Life can be much like this stretch of road, long, winding, beautiful, and treacherous depending on the speed of how we take it. My life has been one of few turns and long roads, as I've been overly patient and not willing to deviate from said course(s) when on them. I've been privy to some of the most amazing views and moments along this journey of mine and now I feel as though I'm set to walk through a quiet storm of sorts.
As much as I'd like to use these fingers of mine to air out grievances, over the last year, I've found that life is short and there are few things which I hold near and dear to me more so than...
"Country roads, take me home to a place where I belong" damn, you John Denver, I'm going to get all emotional again!