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  • Writer's pictureNemi

So Many Decisions...

We all have decisions to make within our daily lives that quite honestly can become a bit overwhelming at times. For me, my toughest decisions have been made quietly and without much fanfare, there's no reason to let too many people in on my life and the next moves which I plan to make. We live in a time where we share our meals, trips, newborn baby pics fresh out of the womb with swollen faces, opinions, dates, divorces, etc.

Fortunately, I'm not one of those let me vomit my day in your face sort of people; to some people I might come off as being mysterious and to others I might come off as being aloof but the truth is I'm just a quirky guy who has zero interest in standing in the limelight, well there is a restaurant in town called Lime Light or is it Lime Lite, either way, I don't mind standing in their lights that is if I have a reservation (I digress).

Over the course of the last six months, I've lost some weight, added some artwork to my body, purchased some cameras, taken some trips, eaten some amazing food, sampled some amazing drinks, stopped biting my nails, started living within the moment, I've laughed, I've cried, I've felt loved, I've felt lost, but most importantly I've made a few plans, which are close to bearing a little fruit. Imagine that, little old me growing up a bit and attempting to be wiser.

At some point before the week is over, I'll pick up the phone and tell my father that I've opted out of the government job and moved on to pursue other interest such as fishing and hunting; I hope he's understanding and doesn't give me too much of a lecture. I kid, my father still has yet to talk with me about the birds and the bees so he'll be good with whatever news I throw his way as long as he's not becoming a grandpa or something wild. Hmmmm, decisions, decisions...

In all seriousness, I'll let you in on a little secret (come closer), the more you smile the happier you'll be in life. It's too easy to allow the happenings of the world to swallow us up so the inverse is to survive or at least attempt to survive.

This morning, while brushing my teeth, I found myself staring at a couple of messages which I have affixed to my mirror, a message which I've looked at hundreds perhaps even thousands of times since I taped it to said mirror. You see, through some hurts and some pain, I've learned that life is only as bad as we make it for ourselves. I feel as though my buddy Marcus Cervantes is speaking with to me, currently; I swear his eternal optimism makes me pause, in order to remember everything is okay, actually, come to think about it, my buddy Mando does the same, the sisters with the dancing eyes do the same too, and the list could continue. One of the messages taped to the mirror is "Know your worth".

The decision we have to make is to smile within the face of adversity as it comes for each of us. I have zero clue how my parents still smile and laugh to this day. We are a family of immigrants who were uprooted from our home, family, and friends, due to war, a war amongst greedy men who only sought gains for themselves and their sects; it's as though war always follows the same stamp. As I sit and think about the spirit(s) and fortitude that both of my parents have stitched within their DNA, I can't help but think that they made and have continued to make so many decisions not just for themselves but for the betterment of our family unit.

It's hard to imagine that I'm coming into my own so late in life; I'm not concerned with too much other than the now, too much other than knowing every little thing is going to be alright... I said don't worry about a ting.

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