Anyone who truly knows me, knows that I keep most things rather close to chest due to the fact that MY business needn't be everyone else's business. Coming into 2020, I made a few decisions which took me out of my comfort zone but helped me to refocus on what I deemed to be important in life. There was an issue of the heart and another of the home that needed to be addressed; at times people confuse the two and lump them under the same roof and further issues happen to manifest, after a certain amount of time.
Towards the end of 2004, I purchased my first home, it wasn't my dream house but it was a house that I would use as a springboard of sorts. It was in mid September when I moved into my home, my parents and siblings helped me paint the rooms and we celebrated as a family unit, as I was the first child to realize the "American Dream" at the age of twenty seven.
I had a stable job and was making waves at work, so I thought, but then in late January of 2005, I was fired from the company I was working for and really left scrambling to stay afloat. My boss at the time was a vindictive individual who wouldn't make it in these days, which we live in, as he would have cost the company millions in a wrongful termination suits and such. I was never one to be in any type of trouble within the workplace but he was in power and he wielded said power like a lightening rod.
People now speak of lives mattering but back in 2005 whilst driving to my parent's home, to inform my dad that I was just let go from a job which I'd maintained for six years, I noticed my blackness for the first time in my career, I noticed that regardless of all of the accolades and hard work, I was a casualty due to the system.
I parked my car and slowly walked up to my parent's front door because their house was my safe haven still, they were my confidants. I wanted to cry in front of my parents and tell them how broken I felt but if any of you have foreign parents you'll understand that their worry is always greater than our worry, 'our' being us kids. So instead of crying, I told them everything would be fine, I'd figure out a way to stay afloat and survive; these were neatly covered lies.
Within moments of uncertainty, most people tend to cry out to God for help (you can insert whomever you'd like to). For me, I've always felt a sense of peace even when standing in the middle of the fire, it's weird to describe but it's real. I've had a few life fires, as we all have I'm sure, yet through it all I've made it, no thanks to myself but more to the Creator.
If we take yesterday's problems into today are we truly living a new day or a recycled one? For far too many seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, and years, I allowed myself to toil, to suffer, because I was unsure about tomorrow yet each day I was carrying yesterday's pain. I hope that all makes sense.
For about a year or so, I floated the idea of purchasing another home but in my mind it was merely a thought since I never move quickly when it comes to making life decisions. In the back of my mind, some changes needed to take place but the focus was becoming okay with me as a person.
A part of me wants to talk about past relationships but that's yesterday's news and I'm standing here today, well, sitting technically.
This week I closed on my second home and I did so with zero fanfare. The months were trying but there were a few breaks which went my way when everything was said and done. It's funny to think that almost fifteen years later, here I stood doing something that my parents hadn't done or my siblings as well. I'm not one to put much energy in the materialistic side of things, due to the fact I don't care for opulence. There are some who will work all of their lives for a house and never see the world because all they knew was work and then there's little ol' me who figured out that work allows me TO see the world.
Though I placed the monies together on my own, the push and love shown by a few key friends helped to ease my fears. To those of you who've watched my progression these last eight months or so, I'd like to say, "Thank you for your patience with me..."
There are a few exciting things on my horizon and I hope I continue to move forward in life as there isn't any baggage for me to carry into tomorrow. I hope the same can be said to those of you who have made it this far in the story. The problems I used to face, I do not plan on facing again, tomorrow, if granted to me, will be a new day.
Do not waste your time on people or things that aren't adding some form of peace to your life. Time is but an instrument that's measured in laughter, smiles, and adventures; do not allow yourselves to be lost wondering where the time went.
Today, I'm starting something new, maybe you’lll join me soon.