It's Friday night and I'm home wondering how quickly Monday morning is going to arrive and the cycle is going to start all over again, for me. The days have become somewhat difficult, perhaps it's the weather, my lack of motivation, or just pure loneliness within this big ass house. IF only I cared enough to go and vegetate in front of my television and allow time to simply waste away, while eating ice cream or something. I really need to start running again or just take the jump and go back to the gym, in order to face The Rona. Eh, I don't have time for Rona at the moment, well I don't have time for Rona at any moment come to think of it.
I've done quite a bit of shooting over the last few weeks, with some pretty neat folks, which always helps to make things go easier. It's strange what truly comes into focus when I'm behind the lens, the moments captured, i.e., the laughter, smiles, atmosphere, and feeling of accomplishment when clients are ecstatic as I am about the final products which they receive.
Tonight, I'm reflecting back to my week and all of the highs and lows which have taken place. Each day, I wake up and thank God for the day and I pray for patience. On Tuesday, a buddy of mine sent a quick text message and he said that I was placed on his heart for him to reach out to me, just to check in on my wellbeing and all. I really feel as though there are some folks who are so dialed into this life matrix and can feel whatever it is one is going through from time to time; this friend is one of those folk.
I really don't have too much to complain about but I have noticed I've become a bit glum over the course of the last few weeks or so. The idea of needing entertainment is something that has crossed my mind but that would require work/effort, the idea of going and hanging out where the same faces frequent is the last thing I want to do as well. My head is slowly telling me that it's time to shut down and truly reflect on what it is I want in life; I mean, I'm almost 45yrs old with no mid life crisis in sight so by all accounts I'm ahead of the game.
Kids have always gotten me more than adults and I often think it's because I'm still a kid at heart. In retrospect, I think that I'll be immature up until my final days, I'll hopefully be remembered for my personality more so than for my wit. "He had a childlike personality..."
Within the hustle and bustle of it all I stood still for a bit while the thunder clapped in the background and the light changed in the foreground and I asked the sisters, pictured below, to smile. You see, kids aren't bothered by how they look, what they're wearing, or how many compliments they might receive from a picture, they're just kids caught within the now.
As this week has somewhat dragged on and I've found myself battling pouring a few cups of whiskey, tonight, and fading into the darkness of my room, I can't help but think back to the picture below and how I felt after it was captured.
We live in a world that's on fire in so many ways, shoot some of our lives are on fire too but there's relief from the flames and that comes with the understanding we're not meant to fail. I've felt like I was failing myself and my wants but I'm finding that my wants are for the peace and quiet which I'm sitting in currently.
Friday nights aren't always a party, sometime these nights are a reminder that it's okay to sit within the TALL GRASS and be still or reflect on what's in front of me, LIFE and BEAUTY. A special thanks to the sprites for filling my heart with joy and my camera with this imagery and the reminder that clouds don't always produce rain.