Search
  • Nemi

That Feeling...


This morning I woke up early(ish), in order to begin what has been one of my longest days to date. IF I had to equate what this day has felt like, I would say it's probably Day One of any Grizzly Fest Festival. On these days, in particular, I find myself scrambling to make sure that all my T's are crossed and I's are dotted. This morning, I found myself attempting to put all of the new pieces of a drone together for an event that my brother was hosting.


I'm not sure if there was any sort of underlying stress taking place or not, leading up to me getting ready. The last few days have been 'MEH' and I've been sort of going through the motions with my days. THIS FEELING was a familiar one in that I could feel my chest getting a bit tight and my breaths becoming a bit shortened. Of course, I thought maybe this is the way I'm going to go out of this world and I felt proud that I had at least changed my underwear and put on some dope socks, though the socks did read, "Ready To Die" on them (reference to Notorious B.I.G.'s album).


It's within these moments, I begin to think about how things go unsaid or feelings aren't expressed or better yet my clothes, shoes, hats, and tech stuff are sort of up for grabs so to speak. Man, I need more of a plan!


Long story made longer, my brother's event was an absolute masterpiece of bringing people together for a good cause. I never doubt my brother, wait let me walk that back, I never doubt my brother when it comes to events. There were probably close to one hundred and seventy five people who came out to play golf and donate back to our community, today. My brother's organization gave a check to a local middle school and countless other groups were represented throughout the the event/day.


I drove around in a golf cart and people were extremely happy to see me, mostly because a majority of them hadn't had the opportunity to have my brother and me in the same place. The only thing I failed to do today was to take a picture with my brother during another one of his accomplishments. We did exchange a hug and I did tell him that I loved him.


As I sit here now, I wonder what would have happened I didn't escape the chest pain and shortness of breath. My phone didn't ring today, I did receive a few texts which IF I'd never returned them, it probably would have been chalked up to me being me. Who do we miss when things are quiet, who do we reach out to in order to let them know we're alive?


In the end, I suppose I'll find out one day, then again, maybe not...