The older I've become, the more I've witnessed just how fragile this all is, this life stuff. Our minds are stronger than our hearts or is it the fact that our hearts control our minds. I suppose this is why I would never make a good ballroom dancing partner, I'm lost as to who leads and who follows.
Today, I'm once again faced with fighting out of the darkness around me and my battle is to remain within the light. There are feelings which follow me to sleep and meet me the very moment I awake from my nap(s). The idea of restful sleep has sailed away and left me ashore, hoping that the ship returns and allows me to board and find comfort within this journey we call life.
IF I could speak with you openly, I would tell of the heartache and pain which have come my way as of late. I've referred to them as body blows due to the fact I'm fighting to stand in the ring, we're all fighting until we hear the bell.
Last night, I laid awake questioning so much; the process was tiresome yet I could not find sleep. My thoughts took me down various paths and they all led back to a feeling of loneliness, a feeling of helplessness. There's the trick, despair, a selfishly sinking feeling of thinking that I'm here alone.
My days haven't been filled with laughter, as much as they've been filled with silence, tears, and a search for the meaning to all of this life stuff. I'm tired...
Even in my sadness, I know there is still beauty waiting for us, for you and for me; we just need to be strong during THESE DAYS.