Tis Time...
The more I travel, the more I find myself observing things I probably wouldn't have if I were at home, glued to my tv set, watching Netflix all day and night (no knock to any Netflix users). Side note, I'm a Netflix user still, I had a hiccup but I'm back to watching nothing.
In all honesty, my thirst for adventure has led me on some pretty epic yet random trips. The "Hey, I'm picking you up tomorrow at 4p and we're flying to...." has taken place often enough, I now have a to go toiletries kit ready to go at all times. IF not mistaken, my last trip to Europe had me throwing away undershirts and underwear just because, well, just because I could, I mean I did throw away all the undies with my initials stitched to the inside of them. I digress...
For anyone who has looked up and witnessed a scene unfolding in front of them and taken out their camera to capture said scene, they can attest that there's a sense of euphoria which takes place, a pure sense of excitement when everything lines up properly.
I've never been one to stare at the clock too often, as I tend to have a pretty good gauge on time. Well, as I look at the calendar and see the days moving, the weeks, the months, and years, I find myself noticing my clock a bit more.
The idea of marriage doesn't exist any longer as I'm finding we as humans place so much emphasis on a perfect partner when we're all flawed. It's "funny" my parents used to ask me, "Son, when are you going to settle down and get serious, have a family"; that single question would bug me so much because I was nowhere close to being mature enough, ready enough, to waste my time and someone else's time. As I sit here, tonight, I'm feeling as though I've wasted so much damn time, attempting to fit square pieces into circular spaces of my life, to quote a cliche.
I'm not heartbroken or depressed, for the first time in my life, I'm okay, I'm okay knowing that not all pictures come out the way we envisioned them to come out when we pressed the shutter release button; the beauty is there's more film, there's a delete button/feature which we can all access and start over anew.
Over the course of the last five to six years, I've spent a considerable amount of money on camera equipment and I've yet to make even a fraction of it back. I've captured images from places all around the world, some images which could bring me a dollar or two, however I've allowed myself to be overlooked because I was struggling to find my own focus, if that makes sense. We live in a time, live within a world, where self-promotion opens doors for like, thumbs, Retweets, reposts, stories, ads, sponsorship, verification tags, and soapboxes; I for one have often struggled with self, unless I was on a stage or behind the scenes working to ensure things were working properly.
Maybe now is the time for us to stand up for our wants, hopes, and dreams. I've dreamed for far too long and as weird as it is to say, I've awakened in a season of chaos but I'm fine. My hope is for those of you who are having issues with your manual focus (camera talk), you take the time to look inwardly and adjusting whatever might be off and not allowing you to fire correctly.
The word love is a tricky one, one which I still cannot write about because I'm unsure what it looks like, what it feels like... I'll let you know though, as the first person I'll try this love stuff on is me.
I suggest you all try as well, tis time we get the picture right in our lives because the imagery of happiness can be euphoric.
(Picture captured in Cincy)