To Pluto And Back...
Lately, I've found myself calmer/relaxed due to the fact I've found a pocket of peace in which I can rest in throughout the course of my day. A few weeks ago, I was struggling to sleep and rest my mind; it's crazy how much power our minds have over our bodies, that is until we learn to quiet the mind.
As we begin to shift our way into another year, I find myself shifting my mindset as well. I believe this awakening has been taking place in me for far too long and now it's time to take hold of what I think is my time. I hope my feelings are on point about all of this.
The spaces in my home are set to be filled with creative and achievable goals more so than ever before and the idea of this is a bit scary and rewarding. I intend to love more too, albeit myself first and foremost as my growth will need to be harvested from within, as I've learned this year. There are spaces in my heart and mind which have been mended and this is also a sign of maturity given my past propensity to hold grudges and stew; don't get me wrong, I can still hold a grudge but I'm finding myself not giving too many flying (insert whatever word you'd like).
This year, I've looked in the mirror a bit more, I've read the notes left, to me, upon my doors, within the clouds, and lyrics of songs; this year, I started standing up straighter, thinking a bit more, and reacting a lot less. Earlier this year, when faced with an unpleasant conversation with someone, I found myself wanting to be loud towards them, in order to assert my displeasure and prove my knowledge; it's always tricky when dealing with ego, especially your own.
On this particular day, I realized that I'd grown up being worried about paying bills on time, not putting off to tomorrow what was due to today, and most importantly respecting all of my hard work to make it to the point I was at during that time (mind you it was just February). The words which they used still ring at times, "I'll do it on my time and not be told by you when to do it..." sticks out in my mind and at this very moment, I can smile and say, "Thank you for those words, they broke my spirit".
My friends say that I'm overly patient and I'm finding that patience is definitely both a virtue and curse. There are things which I would love to take place now and there are things which I know may never take place, though I persevere and place a good face about it all. The idea of love is something I'm still not comfortable writing about though I'm finding that I'm being pulled towards a want for peace in my life, with another, more than anything else in this world.
I have so many stories to share and the picture below is a perfect example of how I'd share them. I'm not a hopeless romantic as much as I am a hopefully one, I'm not a lost/wandering soul as much as I am an awakened one. The beauty is, once I power down my mind, my senses become aware of my surroundings. I pray that these surroundings continue to be beautiful and I pray that you're smiling underneath that helmet/mask as well.
"No busco el amor, solo te busco a ti..." #I'mOutHereComeFindMe