Who Would Have Thought...
The days are doing what the days tend to do so well and that is move. It feels as though I've opened my eyes to many new ideas and accomplishments as of late and these are truly accredited to the mercies provided, daily, not anything I've done on my own.
It should come as no real surprise, to any of you, that I'm a little quirky; I've spoken about this without hesitation for a number of years. The kid in the corner of the room, cracking jokes in elementary school, junior high school, high school, college, church benches, fraternity parties, and other functions is now an adult telling recycled lines during work meetings, international trips, interviews, and stuffy Zoom calls. IF I look hard enough, I can see the slightest bit of progression but you know, I'm getting a little bit oooolder, I'm wearing glasses now, and I'm finding that if I stare too hard at things, I pick up random headaches. Unfortunately, some might call this maturity, I just call it "Whatever man..."
I often wonder what my parents think of me, like truly think of me given the fact I'm so for a lack of a better word, carefree. The norms which they'd probably like me to abide by are ones which I left behind the moment I could say things like, "Yeah, I don't think I'm going to make it to their house, they don't even like y'all so why go make them feel good"; yes, I'm that kid, the truth spitter, joke maker, cuss word throwing, rap music listening, country music liking, hymnal reciting, non religious/religious, son. So many of you are squinting your eyes at me but guess what, my mom still calls me handsome and sweet, she gets it! Well, maybe she's a bit bamboozled but all gangster's moms typically know what's up but go along with it anyway.
This past weekend, me and my buddy took a trip down to L.A. for a photography workshop. The last time I was in L.A. was the summer of 2019, I no longer run around those streets just to do the L.A. thing and this is dating back to pre RONA. There was a part of me which desired the L.A. life, at one time in life but those L.A. prices and transactional friendships ended up keeping me away from more heartache than success. In my mind, if you're not making a difference within the city you're from, why go somewhere else just to "be".
Our trip took us to a famous L.A. location and we were afforded the opportunity to be in the mix with L.A. natives, no one had traveled as far as we had just to learn that much more and practice said learnings with aspiring humans. I'm aspiring to be a better human, there's plenty of acting needed for this role. The beauty of this workshop was, I found myself observing personalities, dress, demeanors, etc and finding that so many of us are the same despite our locations. I'm forever inquisitive, understanding where we come from is vital to knowing where we want to go.
When I look at my life and I briefly stare back to Kacy Ledbetter dominating the tether ball pole, Jason Jordan being the second coming of Joe Montana, Junebug Wages having the dopest Mustang, Mike Z having the feathery jump shot, and Kathy McCool being the dreamiest woman ever created, I tend to wonder about little ol' me. Where on earth was I heading back then and how did I get here?
I excelled in most things, back then, because I was typically overlooked and it wasn't until I took it upon myself to prove others differently, no one would even have known how much my desire to be respected drove me to earn said respect. This mindset has brought me to where I am today, the cusp of something special. The beauty about this something special is that some of you share it with me often and you do not know/understand that you're part of this voyage, so, "Thank you".
There are moments within our lives that define us, for me I feel as though my defining moments were forged early and often, cuss, in reality, they're still being forged due to how this world of ours is built.
My want isn't to be seen at all, it would make me feel great if I'm but words which would leave others saying, "WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT, he'd make it this far..." Sometimes the ugly ducklings remain ugly but then there are times the light hits them in such a way, everyone has to take note.