Alas, I sit here one last time in my 30's and take a look back ten years to see how far I've come, maybe I should look back to when it all started. Who would have thought that the kid pictured below would grow up to be the kid a few folks know, today? Life is interesting to type the least.

The dreams which I had in the picture below are probably still the same dreams which I have today, a good meal, tie, and someone to hold me. Yes, I still dream of being held and loved, I mean sue me who wouldn't want to be held and loved!

When it came to the kids/siblings, I was the guinea pig, at times the egg, but all through the years, I was the one who has always been a bit different from the rest, the cowardly lion. I know my father sits and wonders/worries about what life holds for me but I try to point out, to him, that apples never truly fall far from their trees.

We weren't brought into this world in order to fail, we are children who were born to angels, we are children who were taught right from wrong, life over wealth, and grace in the face of adversity. The mental makeup which I've been given, keeps me moving forward though I want to wallow in self-pity, doubt, and insecurity; we weren't brought into this world to fail, instead we are the stars who were born to shine in a dark world which we didn't know needed our existence.

The bonds of childhood aren't necessarily the same bonds we hold onto in our adult years but their remnants can be found within the eyes of yesteryear. For in my childhood, I was a protector of some sorts, yet in my years of adolescence, I lost sight of my duty my role.

Here I sit, wondering where time has gone, wondering how I've made it all the way from Point A to Point B; it's all through grace and mercy, for I know without it, I would have made a fool of myself long ago. For that matter, without a little luck, plenty of grace and mercy, I'd stumble each day I open my eyes and begin to take my first steps.

I'm 40yrs old now, life starts now; there aren't any excuses I can make for myself, there aren't any places left for me to hide (well, there's always one good hiding spot I suppose). It's not so much the age, as much as it is the promise I need to make to myself, the promise I need to uphold for myself and those around me... Be better today, than I was yesterday.

My parents and some family members tend to ask me, "When are you going to get married and have a family..." and for years I've pushed this type of talk to the side but as I see others around me settling in and enjoying the fruit(s) of their loins, I mean labor, I wonder if I've missed the boat.

I'm 40yrs old now, life starts now; my clock is ticking and the Golden Era has begun and all I can do is pray for a little luck, plenty of grace, plenty of mercy, and a little intervention to help me be a better me today than I was yesterday.