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Valentine's Day Hustle


Well, it's Valentine's Day and love is supposedly in the air at close to $78 a pop for a dozen roses and $110 for two dozen however one can find a deal on one balloon, bear, and half a dozen roses depending upon what street corner you find yourself.

I'm too cheap to actually run to store or order roses online so I'm leaving my house, now, with a set of scissors, a pocket knife, a plastic bag, flashlight, pepper-spray, black beanie, gardening gloves, and Post It Notes which I'll leave pinned to the rose bushes I borrow flowers from tonight.

Hey, I mean seriously, I'm attempting to bring DIY Valentine's Day to new heights tonight! The real sad part is, I'll probably get to cutting four or five roses off of a bush and then realize the crime being committed (thinks about it for a moment); okay, I'll cut at least two dozen worth of roses and nothing more, I promise.

When did these days become so outrageous, can't I just get a card from Kimmie asking me to be her Valentine even though she asked Peter, Tom, and Chris too?

I raise a rose to a day of havoc for all the men who are willing to spend money instead of pillaging the gardens of the land! In all actuality, maybe I have it all backwards, maybe I should spend money for a day and then neglect love the other 364 days of the year.

Flowers do not make things better, neither do chocolates (unless they're those coconut filled ones from SEE'S Candy those always make me feel.... awkward). I digress, this is the day of happiness and love and I sincerely hope everyone gets an opportunity to truly feel loved, I know I'll be in bed by 7pm, staring at the roses, balloons, and bear which I purchased for myself, on the corner of Lonely and 3rd, right across the street from the Heart Hospital.

(Rolls eyes) These chocolates are amazing....


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