Years ago, I mean almost close to ten years ago, when I had first started exploring the idea of sharing my poetry, a young poet told me something which I've always held onto, she said, "Do not write about love, it's played out and people are over it." My hurts, frustrations, and questions around love are typically masked within stories which deflect or appear whimsical yet provide me with the needed sense of masking, the needed sense of release.
This is my third time waking up this morning, the first being somewhere around 3am for no reason other than not being able to put my mind to sleep, the second and third times were just because I legitimately felt lonely and cold (for some reason my feet were hanging out of my comforter).
Unfortunately, I cannot place my finger on it but I can say that over the course of time I've become aware of a few things; alas the real question is if I should share these things or not. The idea of being or appearing vulnerable is something which I run from yet again my words can be formed in way to grant me protection, grant me shelter from the rain. Yes, it's raining this morning and I'm not quite ready to venture outside so my words are keeping me warm at the moment.
Anyone who truly knows me, knows that I'm terrified of birds! I had a few bad experiences due to a sister was a comedian growing up, well at last check she's still "funny" in her own right. There really isn't a part of me that melts at the sight of birds, I do not want to find out about their habitats, i.e., flight patterns, or nesting habits but here I am standing and staring out my window, at this two who are sitting in the downpour, sitting in the rain.
Love is an interesting topic to broach, everyone has a different opinion or view on what love truly is and far too many of us flippantly use the words, "I love you" when in reality we're just lost in a moment. I digress, let me get back to these two.
It's 8:42am and I need to be at my office by 9am, let me be real for a bit, I'm more than likely not going to make it to work on time today. I'm literally transfixed, drawn in to the idea that these birds are love birds. Why my window, why now?
The truest example of love, at least for me, is my parents; they've been holding hands and having conversation for over forty years, forty! I used to ask myself if their love was/is perfect, if they are still learning things about each other, or if there have ever been moments when they've wanted to throw in the towel and walk away from each other. The answers are of course yes but the glue which hasn't faded is love.
As I stand here with camera in hand, I can tell which dove is the male and which one is the female, I can tell that their bond isn't new and obviously that they are not afraid to stand in the rain together because soon (aaaah, there they go), soon they'll take flight and land find themselves in warmer environment.
This morning I'm thinking that there's a little love bird in all of us, we just need the right bird to share a fence with, the right bird who's will be willing to stand in rain and listen to us sing, watch us dance, or simply share a kiss or three with as well.
Maybe these birds landed on my fence and I happened to look out the window for a reason this morning, I see you universe.