Updated: Jan 21, 2021
I stood here in complete silence, mainly due to the fact it's mad awkward to try to speak with random people while in the cover of darkness. Actually, the thought of random conversation in an environment like this, makes me laugh inside. "Hey man, that tuna sure is glowing..."
Yeeeeeah skip all that noise!
I'm fading, I'm fading into a frame of mind that isn't concerned with the engagement of drama and displaced energy from others. Over the last few months, I've limited my movements, words, and seemingly some dreams. I don't belong where I am now, my spirit is bigger than the shadows, it's bigger than feeling as though I'm part of the heard.
The idea of taking a risk is something that has always been intimidating to me but that was the old me, my heart and head are telling me it's time to step up because I'm being overlooked on a daily, monthly, and yearly basis. It's great to make a bit of money but at the end of the day, I'm beating myself up to help add to a billion dollar company's bottom line, all the while my bottom line is empty.
I'm fading from the public eye per se in order to hone in my eyes, mind, and heart. My girlfriend told me last night that I'm distant, that I'm somewhere else... Yeah, I am, I'm evolving and this evolution is draining/testing every ounce of my being. The days of asking people to be patient with me are over, it's me who has been patient/dormant for far too long.
I'm fading, I'm fading, in order to refine myself and then come back into the light either as a tuna, butterfly, or a better form of the guy who's currently sitting in the darkness. When I escape this fog, I promise there won't be any awkward conversations.