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  • Nemi

Long Road Home...

I'm finding that nothing in life is really super easy, well I mean there are those lazy weekend afternoons which roll around once every few months, which let me know that I'm alive, whilst I watch soccer in bed. The problem is, I have an overwhelming sense of pressure which I've felt for some time and that pressure is to be creative but creative in the sense of not following the crowd and simply following my own path.

My want is to explore this beautiful world of ours and tell the stories which aren't otherwise accessible to the masses. So many people say things such as, "I wish I could see..." when in fact all they need to is open their eyes and their hearts to the possibilities of moving past their own constraints.

A close friend of mine asked me last year why I never shoot vertically; I'm unsure if my reason was believable to her or not but she gave me a look as though to say, "Turn your freaking camera sideways and shoot, dork!" There was a message in this which I gathered from her question and look of disdain.

What IF I were to tell you that the road to nowhere could actually lead somewhere, perhaps even back home? The journey I've been on over the last fifteen years has been interesting to say the least and I've come this far without much of a plan; the Lord has been gracious to a sinner and lost soul such as myself.

In 2005, I was fired from a job due to a manager not liking me and him knowing that he could fire me because California is an At Will state for employment; for that I'd love to say, "Screw you and thank you, Eric T" all within the same . If it were not for you and a few others like you over the years, I would not have learned patience and discernment, I would not have been forced out of my comfort zone.

As I drove to my parent's house, on the morning which I was fired, my father slowly opened their front door with the look of worry in his eyes because he knew something was afoot, I made it a point not to cry then, due to the feeling of being looked at as a "failure". My father knew the issues I had within my office and like any good father would do, he embraced me and expressed his sorrow for the hardship which had suddenly come my way. I had purchased a new home three months earlier, my coworkers had come to visit, and then suddenly I was left in the valley of the unknown to fend for myself.

It was within this these moments I learned to bite my tongue and smile though inside I was raging like a wild beast ready to devour all who had betrayed me. The years have passed yet fourteen years later I still sit and smile at those who attempt to move against me (quietly).

We're forever instructed that money is where the wealth is and we must work so hard to secure this nest egg which will provide for us when we're older. Well, I'm definitely more grasshopper than ant and I've stockpiled for the spring and not the winter; worry not, I have warm jackets which will carry me through the cold. My wealth is been gathered through the journeys which I've embarked upon, through the people who've embraced me open and honestly.

For years on end, I've wanted to be anywhere other than where I am now and it's within this moment of solitude, I'm noticing that I've been allowed to be everywhere, all the while find refuge within the homes and hearts of many. I've been blessed...

There's a poem which I wrote many years ago which starts with the line, "My journey to right here, right now, began right there, so long ago..."

I photographed a road not too, too, long ago; I turned my camera vertically and shot. IF you look close enough, follow the lines closely enough, you'll see that they'll lead you home as well.

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