What Comes Next...

Earlier today, I was asked if I've closed myself off to the world a bit, closed myself off to being creative, closed myself off to certain friendships, and adventure. The questions left me a bit frustrated because the answer is simple, there are few things which cause me to move these days, few things which excite me, currently.

I'm not broken by any stretch of the imagination, I just feel as though I'm morphing into another phase of life, one that hasn't been mapped out quite yet by past experiences or planning for the future. Perhaps this metamorphosis can be viewed as the changing of the caterpillar into a butterfly; obviously the cocoon would be bigger and my wings would be... I wonder what they would be?

Alas, the guy who's afraid of birds, shouldn't be typing about wings regardless of the variety of said wings.

A friend of mine has been on such a wonderful trajectory in life, over the span of the last three years or so, maybe two and a half. It's amazing at this post forty years of age stage how our hearts and minds are so robotic until something catastrophic takes place and we must find a change, a reason to continue the journey so to speak.

When it comes to matters of the heart, we're left debating what we already know but are afraid to accept for our lives. There is such a thing as bad timing and this can take place along the way; some decide to stick things out and others decide to pack up and move.

I've learned the hard way, personally, that there's no reason to stick with something if it's not fulfilling, regardless of the contract signed, there's nothing that supersedes peace within one's life. There are many who will argue "For better or for worse..." means you must figure things out regardless of knowing staying in your present situation, isn't the answer.

Imagine sitting in place of unhappiness for so long that you wish you could; this is an interesting thought when instead of playing pretend, you can simply make a change in the trajectory (yes, I've used the word trajectory twice, let me live 😅) of your life. I wish happiness on most people.

Back to my buddy who has overcome heartache and decided to climb, metaphorically and literally. The inspiration in watching one be resilient when facing adversity is undescribable. There are some days, I can't move past the fact that I'll have to come home to an empty house with no one to speak with, laugh with, dine with, or dream with and then I'm reminded that it could be a lot worse.

Starting over sucks, especially when you're unaccustomed to how the world spins, which these days feels as though the earth isn't on its axis. So the question becomes, "What comes next..."

Are there mountains for us to climb, sights for us to find, feelings for us to unpack and refine? So much can happen if we give ourselves a little grace and provide ourselves a little time to get from point A to point where we need to be.

I've been told for years that "Nice guys finish last..." Hopefully nice guys continue to rise on everyone's list.

Perhaps, I have closed myself off a bit, or a lot of bit. In the end, I too need to figure out "What comes next". Hopefully, it will be as majestic as a mountain peak, as bright as the sky.

Do not forget to love yourself, first, it's difficult to be all things to someone if you're nothing to yourself.

Thank you for making it this far...

#ImOutHereComeFindMe